Silently

Silently it builds, the angst, the humility, the effervescent image of you
I fight it, totally unaware of what im doing as I do it.
Im seething, reeling, with hate and remorse of hurting you, but in the light
I see a shadow, a stain on the body of our love, growing darker and bigger.

My eyes adjust, my heart quickens, my palms get clamy and my breath catches,
Its you. You are the stain that grows darker, that grows bigger.

Its you. You are the shadow I see in my tunnel of light.
Why cant you go away? I dont have what you want.
I feel sorry for you, hoping that love will make you dissappear, will make you fade.
So that you arent locked in that shadow forever.

I scream! Calling you towards me, here I say, here is love, here is hope, and respect, and yet you grow darker and bigger, ignoring my words until.....

Until you envelope me in darkness, emotionally sanitzing me and making me numb to your insults, im a puppet and you are my master, my puppeteer.

I am alone now. Forcing myself to breath, slowly, making my heart return to normal, fixing my gaze on something in the distance, slowly recovering.

I am whole now. Repaired, put back together, Whole.