Desperate measures.....

Random thoughts.....
Category: Friends

So yesterday I decided that I wanted to move to the UK, that was completely random and had no direct purpose or intent. I just wanted out. Out of this city, this country, this world.

In talking more to my sister, i discovered that my effervescent Sagittarius soul is dying for change. Something new, a new tattoo, a new piercing, a new look, something, anything as long as its new.....

I think in my heart that im slowly dying for in my current position im not challenged, im not inspired and im definately not encouraged to do what i was meant to do, and that is to write. Music, books, screenplays, anything creative and constructive.

My poor mind is going insane, constantly going in circles, over and over again reeling from everything around me. Its not that im not happy with my job or my son or my life, but i want change. I need change.

I want to decorate my house with Mexican folk art, idolizing the day of the dead, graffiti art, Post WWII deco, I want the red Formica table with chrome and black chairs, I want to wake up to wind chimes, and sunflowers poking up in my back yard. I want to wake up to the sound eternal peace and quiet, I want my house to smell of food, and laughter and comfort. I want to be able to have my friends come over and share a couple of bottles of something and watch b- grade horror movies while making jokes about the movie.

I want to decorate my house for Halloween and Christmas, I want to enjoy my life, as though tomorrow were my last.

I fear that im slowly dying inside and I cant stop it, im no longer the person you once knew, ive become sterilized and formatted.

I want to feel.